Who would have thought we would cause such heated discussion over a little topic like Chivalry vs Chauvinism? We were surprised by how many comments we received and how passionate some of the comments were. Interestingly enough, most of these comments came from men. We may have touched a nerve here! It isn't so surprising considering the rocky waters men have to wade through these days. Women have forged paths and have come such a long way in recent years. Women are emerging more or less as equals, holding high powered jobs, competing in sports and are generally considered to be strong and independent. In our journey to get here, however, our male counterparts have been left standing confused as to how to deal with us. Do they still play the gentleman and open a door (even if we are clearly able and willing to do this ourselves)? Or do they defer to us and "check" their chivalrous nature? It can be a sticky situation for a guy who is looking to impress a woman or is simply just trying to be chivalrous. This is really a double standard because while women do want to be seen as strong, competent and independent we still really appreciate when we are treated like ladies. Old habits and traditions are hard to break. There is no shortage of opinion on this one but I think we can all agree that manners never are out of style and are too seldom used these days. The general consensus is that men can respect women and recognize them for their strengths and values, while at the the same time not be afraid to hold open a door or offer to pay the cheque. Just don't be surprised or offended if we reach for the door or cheque first!
D is for Divorce
How many of have ever woken up in the morning and wondered how did you ever end up with that person sleeping beside you? Hmmmm...is that all? Ok let's all be honest here...how many of you? Now that's more like it!
Divorce, there is no easy introduction to this topic. We are all watching our friends and colleagues drop like flies. Why do they do it? Why don't we do it? What drives some to the divorce courts while others battle their inner demons and stay in a relationship? Is it for the kids? Is it to keep their dream home? Is it to stay afloat financially? Or is it because of the slightest chance that we may fall back in love with our significant other?
Here is a question for you. Do you think it is better to stay in a love-less marriage to keep the family unit intact, for the benefit of the kids? We want your answer, your honest answer, and as always your comments. Scroll down to leave a comment and take our poll.
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4 comments:
Do you think it is better to stay in a love-less marriage to keep the family unit intact, for the benefit of the kids?
I would make the argument that in a loveless marriage the family unit is not intact. If there is no love - then the marriage is dead and the family unit will suffer.
If the parents decide to stay together for the sake of the family they are putting on a show for the kids, acting out a fake relationship and in fact, lying to the children.
Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. They can see when Mom and Dad are not functioning as a unit. Unless the Parents have come to an agreement on how to “perform” the act will deteriorate and everyone is made to look the fool.
Some couples have agreed to an open marriage – where they live together but are free to have relationships. Not sure I would be “open” to that but it happens.
Divorce is a huge decision both emotionally and financially. However life is far too short to live without love.
I agree. The one big lesson we can give our kids is to love. To live a charade without love is to lie to them and give them the opposite message that love does not matter.
I think you have to be damn sure what you want before you tear your children's lives apart. If a marriage can work out then try, try and try again. Only when all is exhausted and the love is completely dead should you break up the marriage. I have seen too many selfish people walk away from their families to sow their wild oats or to create more excitement in their lives. Mid life crisis.
At the same time, I know people who have toughed it our for the kids living a kind of cold war in which things never get better. The kids grow up believing it is normal for mom and dad to fight, to be sarcastic and biting, to never show affection or hug one another, to sleep in separate beds. I have one good friend who was raised this way, swore he would avoid it in his own life, and is now miserably repeating it for the 'good' of his own kids.
Representing such a relationship to children as being normal does more harm in the long run than moving on and finding love.
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